Some Things Need to Break in Order to Work

Some things need to break in order to properly work.

Like your heart.

Don’t deny the pain or run from its inflicts. When you feel it breaking your heart, accept it as a guest that is here to give you a gift.

A gift of a powerful, unforgettable lesson.

Embrace the wound as a strict but very knowledgeable teacher.

Beg it to break your illusion into a million shattered pieces.

Only worse than a broken heart, is a broken heart with illusions still clung to.

Let the wound take the false thinking and unrealized hopes you harboured in your heart for so long – and break them.

Break them into countless grain-sized pieces of glass.

Like sand.

Let the desert wind take them away from your heart and scatter them in unreachable places.

Let your heart break when it does.

Let it bleed with the pain of unfulfilled wishes.

Let it turn all those ocean-deep illusions you swam in, into mere foam.

Or dust. Sand.

Let the desert wind blow them away from your heart and scatter them in untraceable places.

Into the wilderness of nothingness.

They were nothing. But your real potential to be is everything.

Let your heart break so that your resolve solidifies and makes you the person you were always meant to be.

False notions and disappointing expectations no longer holding you back.

These unfounded whims, these vain desires, these mere dreams never meant to be…

Know they were making you weaker.

Your heart breaking is the freedom you need to let go and reach new heights.

This may be hard to believe now.

I know your heart is broken now.

I know your whole being feels like an ache in a sea of bottomless despair.

But reality is not your enemy.

The reality is, what you thought was good for you is not.

These shattered dreams may have turned into a living nightmare.

The One who holds your precious heart chose to break it – temporarily.

So that your spirit, your fierceness, your resolve, are not broken – permanently.

My mother always says an Arabic proverb: الله يرحم من بكاني

May God have mercy on the one who made me cry.

(This is not referring to tears caused by someone abusing another.)

This refers to someone who speaks an unwelcome truth, that it ends up hurting another.

Unwelcome, but true.

A truth which breaks our carefully thought-out dreams is unwelcome to us.

But truth is not the enemy.

The truth is, some things have to break.

Some things need to break in order to properly work.

Like the heart.

When you feel your heart break, let it.

When you feel those cracks form, let them.

I promise it will get better.

Be receptive to the light that comes in through the cracks.

Let your delusions crumble.

Crumble into sand and dust.

And may the desert wind blow these particles far, far away from you.

Before you know it, your heart will become lighter again.

You will swim to the top and keep flying higher.

You are more worthy than you realise.

Your fate is in His hands. (What better hands to trust your fate!)

Let your heart break, because it must.

But grieve not over the broken dreams.

You are yourself a dream being realised.

~
“When we least expect it, what’s in the way is the way. The broken door lets in the light. The broken heart lets in the world.” (Mark Nepo)

And God knows Best.

A.S.

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Quran Reflection: On Being Pleased

*Note: I am not a scholar. This is but a self-reflective piece.

God tells us at the end of verse 58:22 of the Quran:

رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوا عَنْهُ ۚ

This part of the ayah in surat al-Mujadela catches at my throat every time.

Why?

I have yet to understand, perhaps I never fully will, why somehow my heart’s walls fracture at these words, and why my defences of all my baseless excuses crumble.

We like to think we can read other people’s thoughts, but we can barely understand our own. But here, I will try to analyse myself. I do not know why this part of the Quranic verse – translated Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him – makes me want to collapse in tears. There are likely many reasons. I decided I needed to reflect on this much deeper and try to understand myself through it. I think I have found one reason why this powerfully resonates with me:

To have God pleased with you, and you pleased with Him.

Oh, to have His pleasure. Always striving to make that the end goal and the waves that transport me as I sail with the means. Yet so many times I am not grateful. I may have the appearance of patience, but wars constantly rage within: an army of thoughts remind me to be content with the state of things in my world and to trust that the future is in good hands; and an opposing army of thoughts assures my ego it is justified in wallowing in its own self-misery. Could one have His pleasure if he is not continuously pleased with His flawless plan?

Although Alhamdulileh: all praise is due to God is always on my tongue, I wonder how truthfully and effectively this reality is translated in my heart of hearts. It is a reality for sure, to this I have no doubt – but am I spiritually living this reality in an authentic way? When I grudge things beyond my control – but yet that are – is this not a form of ingratitude on my part? Is this not an indirect expression of discontentment with God’s plan? And if I am not pleased with His plan… how should I ever imagine Him to be pleased with me?

رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوا عَنْهُ

A Shephard

If He is pleased with you, what else matters? Everything pales in comparison to the pleasure of your Lord. And if He is not pleased with you… honestly… of what from all the skies and galaxies of creation will really matter?

So I pray to the One, turner of hearts, to make my heart sincere and firm. Oh Allah, the All-Merciful, allow us to be of those whom You are pleased with, and who are pleased with You.

For you, and only You alone, know, and have ever known, Best.

-A.S.