Until You Can Self-Love

Dedicated to Noor, who is simply wonderful to have long talks of love with.

Joy

“If someone loves us but we are trapped by self-hatred, their love will never reach us.” (bell hooks)

~

he wants to know her,

but he doesn’t know himself.

 

he wants to be like her,

but he doesn’t want to be unlike himself.

 

he wants to be one with her,

but he doesn’t know how to be one with his thoughts.

 

he wants to trust her,

but he doesn’t trust the One who created her.

 

he wants to please her,

but he doesn’t want to please the One who created her.

 

he fantasizes of living in her spiritual world,

but he doesn’t want to leave the material one he’s in.

 

he wants to commit to her,

but he can’t commit to his own promises.

 

he wants to love her,

but he doesn’t know how to love himself.

 

My brother…

(and this holds true for all my sisters, too)

 

you cannot fully fall in love with her,

and expect her to love you in return

until you know what it means to love 

and not just love the idea of love.

 

the One who created your beloved

has told you how to self-love

but incredibly in your confusion

you choose to self-hate.

 

love starts from the inside

and blossoms out

it does not pierce from the outside

and make its way in.

 

just as you cannot serve from an empty vessel,

so you cannot give what you do not have

if you have no love for your starving soul,

you will not know how to care for the soul of another.

 

My brother…

(and my sisters, too)

 

you must learn to self-love,

but this is not to be confused with greed and egotistical desire.

real self-love is the remedy to healing

and the formula to know how to heal another.

~

 

“Let’s not kid ourselves, we find mutual love only when we know how to love. And the best place to start practicing the art of loving is with the self – that body, mind, heart, and soul that we can most know and change.” (bell hooks)

~

And Allah knows Best.

A.S.

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4 comments on “Until You Can Self-Love

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